Secret Me is an organisation that makes the world of Walter  Mitty come alive. For some thousands of pounds,  candidates, carefully selected by invitation only, can pretend to be James Bond.

Under the watchful eyes of ex-SAS instructors, the fortunate few are shown the art ( a curious word in this context) of how to kill quietly –coyly referred to as ‘threat elimination’. Candidates must also graduate in kidnap and escapology.

Having passed the Houdini test, the successful are whisked away to some exotic foreign location to be rated on their progress. Finally, for the fortunate few who have succeeded in these momentous tasks, there remains The Mission.

But have no fear. This is not all blood ,sweat and tears. This is basic training club class: it comes with canapes! Seduction and what is politely referred to as ‘the art of persuasion’ are all part of the mix. There are even sessions with a Savile Row tailor to ensure that even if the deeds are dirty, the dress will be immaculate. Finally, as the pubicity blurb promises, ‘there will be plenty of time to relax and enjoy the luxurious suroundings’. But of course

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